11.11.09

Veterans Day Remembrance

Here's a fantastic war story for Veterans Day. It features the renowned British commando Mad Jack Churchill, whose exploits are as amazing as they are true.

Some people, especially here in the liberal West Coast, question whether to celebrate Veterans Day or not. I'd say to them that it's not about the wars fought, but individual actions of the soldiers themselves. They aren't being rewarded for winning or picking their battles, they're being recognized for the sacrifices demanded of them by a democratic nation. It's about amazing men like Roy Benavidez, whose courageous actions saved the lives of eight men, won him the military's highest honor and serves to inspire generations of not only soldiers, but American citizens.

And now to the tale:

In the desperate years of the second world war (Great Paranormal War as it became known to the Russians), the Nazi's fused super science, their penchant for mass-murder, and the occult into a scourge that would haunt the steps of man forever. Hitler, realizing that he could never complete his victory over the Soviet Union with the dwindling manpower of Germany, turned his attention to something the Fatherland had plenty of, the dead. Himmer's freshly formed SS Division of Paranormal Ops, teamed with the Black Arts and Sciences Department of the German government set to work creating the Fuhrer's ultimate army.

Initially, they met with failure, while the "Scheusal", which roughly translates into "zombie" was tough to kill. It was also highly unreliable, as they would wander off in the direction of the nearest attainable food source, which in many cases tended to be the Wehrmacht's own troops. One SS report also stated that it had a detrimental effect on morale and "caused considerable difficulty in rallying men as they watched their former comrades in arms devouring enemies or allies.". For the Germans, this was only the first misstep on the road to perfection. Next, Himmler chose a corps of especially racially pure SS officers, whom, after participating in a "Blood Ritual" believed to be an oath of eternal service devised by the SS Paranormal Ops teams, he had ritually slaughtered. Using some arcane means, he had the souls of these men implanted in specially created hosts.

These hosts were to be the leaders of Hitlers new Dark Army. The BA/S department through the use of historical documents, dug up the remains of dead knights of the Teutonic orders of old, and had their bones placed in specially designed armor, daubed in runic symbols sacred to the SS. Ritually sealed, and imbued with the souls of resurrected SS officers, they walked again. As they had no human body to limit them, these creatures had near limitless strength, and were equipped with weapons that would slow a normal man to a crawl, such as the feared MG42, or Flamethrowers... some wielded darker weapons that they brought back from the other side with them. To make matters even worse for the Allies, they were virtually indestructible.

Hitlers new dark Teutonic Order were the perfect leaders for his armies of undeath. The new "Scheusal Mk. II" was programmed with a spell that bound it to the will of the Black Knight leading the company. Driven by his fanatical will and murderous intent, they became devastatingly effective soldiers, only killed by headshots, and frightfully strong, they could rip men to shreds. The SS also made the morale improvement of masking the faces of the reincarnated dead with gas masks, and giving the detachments names like "SS Plague Weapons Division" and the like, to keep average soldiers away.

They were first tested at the city of Leningrad, a place of much consternation to the Third Reich. The siege had dragged on for almost as long as the armies of the Reich had been in in Russia. The people, starving and weak, held on with dogged determination, and no end seemed in sight. Himmler thought of this as his chance at a shining achievement for his aptly named "Deaths Head Legion".

They took the city in three days. The unstoppable hordes of undead smashed through the barricades, and butchered the defenders. Where fortified buildings gave the horrified Red Army soldiers a chance to slow the oncoming horde of monstrosities, they were blasted or burned out by unstoppable Black Knights. The ravening horde then fell upon the populace. Only a few living SS officers joined the dead army to observe their effectiveness, and barely any remained sane enough to report back what they had witnessed in those two terrible days. Through them, and the transcribed ramblings, they gathered reports of soldiers feasting on flesh, and the Knights feasting on something darker still... souls, ripped screaming from their human forms, and devoured. When the German Army entered on the sixth day, they found the fortress city nothing but a charnel shell. The streets ran with blood, piles of corpses were everywhere and the air hung heavy with horror. Nothing was left alive, all was consumed. It was a victory that had not been seen since Paris, and the German people would know none of it. The press corps was not allowed within a mile of the city, and signs like "Verboten, Typhus!" cropped up everywhere. For the SS and Himmler, however, spirits could not be higher, and Hitler would use this dark army to crush the resistance at Stalingrad.

It was not until the battle of Moscow that the tide could be turned. The battle of Moscow had dragged on for weeks, even with the army of the unliving, but progress was steady. With its ranks swollen by the harvest at Leningrad and Stalingrad, and every Red Army army soldier that fell became a new recruit. Sometimes, the DA/S department wouldn't fully program the newly dead, and would simply unleash the mindless, hungering fiend on the populace of Moscow. Many reports were taken by Commissars of men screaming and raving about dead brothers and friends coming back to eat them before finally shooting themselves. Himmler took particular pleasure upon hearing such dispatches.

The Allies, desperate for a countermeasure, had pooled their resources to develop a weapon against the undead legion. Stalin gathered every Gypsy, palm reader, fortune teller, and tested them ruthlessly to find those who were truly gifted, and those who were not. The psychics who succeeded, went on to further training, those that did not, were shot to preserve secrecy. The survivors were put through rigorous training that enabled them to sever the energy linking the Dark Knights from their soldiers, and in some cases, free the tormented souls of their undead shells completely. The Dark Knights however, had joined willingly, and so were much more difficult to spiritually removed, all alone however, they could finally be destroyed with overwhelming firepower. Further, the psychic weapons provided some shielding against the darker powers wielded by the Knights, and the Cultists which had joined the ranks.

Not to be outdone, British Military Intelligence, and the Office of Strategic Services began work on what became known at the highest levels of the western allied governments as the Spiritual Warfare Division. With aid from the Vatican, weapons to combat the dark arts were developed. Shotgun shells filled with exorcised salt as well as lead were produced, bullets with holy water ampules contained inside, flamethrowers with blessed oils from the holiest churches in Christendom, knives and bayonettes were blessed and hammered out of silver and steel from Crucifixes. Joined by willing Priests drawn from all the Allied countries, Poland, America, Free France and even some Italian refugees. There was even an Indian battalion, where Shaman and holy men from the Apache, Comanche, and Sioux joined the ranks. Now even the very Earth rose in anger against the unholy Reich. These men, trained like soldiers, but with the hearts of clergymen, when the time finally came led the assault on Castle Wewelsburg.

The Siege of Castle Wewelsburg became the battle for the soul of humanity. While largely kept out of the press until after the battle, it was well known to people of the world that the dark forces unleashed by the Nazis had to be contained and destroyed, or they would overwhelm everything in time. This became especially clear when the Nazi's, in desperation, attempted to use bloated zombies to cross the channel at the Pas de Calais. While almost all were destroyed in direct action by the Spiritual Warfare division, a few managed to slip through the protective cordon and wreaked havoc on close in land towns, causing many to be Quarantined until the undead menace could be quelled. As the Western Allies mustered their forces for battle at Wewelsburg, the Russians had turned their new psychic weapons into the physical manifestation of Slavic vengeance.

At Wewelsburg, the allies began with a mechanized assault, using specially blessed and exorcised tanks and armored fighting vehicles, resistant to the corrupting and corrosive spells wielded by the Cultists and Knights, as well as the new "Pentagramic Shells" and "Baphomet Cannons" developed by the BA/S department. Which had flayed the souls of so many soldiers of the Allies. Allied artillery, inscribed with prayers of exorcism and purification pounded the walls of the Nazi fortress, finally breaching the gate, and allowing allied infantry inside.

Hundreds died as Himmler unleashed his newest creation, the Ende Garde, or Death Guard. Huge flesh golems created out of the congealed flesh of SS dead, were only a half dozen in number, still in the test phase, but proved insanely tough to kill. Slowly but surely, they were lured outside, to be destroyed by lightning from the hands of Shaman, combined fire from the blessed weapons of the SW Division soldiers, or in one case banished by the hands of a single SW Division Priest. Only then could they fight their way into the bowels of the black citadel. Fighting through fanatical SS Troops, driven to depravity and insanity by the dark forces they had been exposed to, the Western Allies discovered the true depths to which the evil Reich had sunk.

In the miles of excavated catacombs beneath the castle, untold horrors were discovered, few SW Division soldiers would speak about what they saw, even to high command, but what reports could be compiled defy belief. Piles of plague infected concentration camp victims lay ready for reanimation, to be sent via the channel to England, and specially designed U-boats to the coast of America. Body parts and organs of fallen Waffen SS daubed in vile magick runes, lay in semi congealed soup, ready for injection into molds that would allow for easy mass production of the Ende Garde super soldiers. It was clear that Himmler to produce these on a scale similar to the Scheusal Soldaten, and had them led by the Dark Knights. Given only a few months more, the Third Reich would have overwhelmed and swept aside the armies of the Allies in an unstoppable wave of dead flesh. More alarming, it came to the attention of the OSS that the SS Paranormal Ops division had begun to merge the cultists and Dark Knights, creating near indestructible undead warriors, that could raise freshly dead soldiers right on the battlefield. Distressingly, none of the few that remained could be found, and had apparently escaped into the woods of the Rhineland.

Perhaps the most famous of the British answers against the Nazi's new Teutonic Order was Lieutenant-Colonel Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill, more commonly known as "Mad Jack" by his troops and "Britannia Triumphant" among the public. Leading a handpicked squad of Commandos, Churchill's primary mission was to seek and destroy Black Knights. His legendary success can be attributed both to his personal character, and to the sword that was his primary weapon: what many historians agree was Excalibur itself. Regardless of the sword's identity, there are numerous eyewitness accounts of it shining brightly as Churchill used it to cut Black Knights in half--the same horrors that had taken artillery rounds without pause. Churchill also is claimed to have been able to disrupt the magic controlling a Scheusal's mental processes by playing a set of bagpipes, but these allegations have yet to be given proper documentation. Churchill's Commando group was handpicked from England's finest; being knighted for exceptional gallantry was a must before any man could even be considered for selection. The British propaganda corps noticed this, and dubbed this Commando group "The New Round Table." "Never have so many owed so much to so few." Winston Churchill's words, after the defense of London, where he led from the front with Tommy gun in hand, and was saved by Mad Jack's timely relief.

Among his most notable deeds were the development of the Pendragon Rounds. Jack Churchill was more than able to destroy a Black Knight at three hundred paces with this ammunition, which burned like a flare, and screamed like and eagle when fired. To this day, no one knows their exact composition, because Mad Jack took their secret to the grave, back in 1996. He also participated in the action that would make his name synonomous with British ingenuity and daring, in a commando raid on a Norwegian installation that gave the British forces their first Black Knight to analyze. Armed only with his trusty sword and aided only by his lieutenant known to most records only as “Percy”, he managed to capture twenty-seven SS soldiers and, inexplicably, an active Black Knight.
Stalin, not wishing to tip his hand about his newly developed psychic weapons, had told SHAEF that he simply didn't have the forces available to aid in the destruction of Wewelsburg. This would come back to bite the Soviets in the Korean Suppression, as armor technology captured from the Nazis would lead to the development of the US "M8-Patton" Personal Tank, a massive suit of diesel fueled powered armor. Regardless, he massed his psychic soldiers, whom had used the years of German defeats and retreat to develop not only psychic defense, but psychic weapons against the Wehrmacht. On the outskirts of Berlin, soldiers began going insane, shooting themselves or their comrades, or simply walking out into the guns of the avenging Soviets. Women threw themselves and their children from windows, the old and the invalid dying of terror induced heart attacks as nightmares from the Eastern Front were transmitted directly into their brains. Tanks crumpled as incredible unseen force held them in a vice like grip. The captured were forced to slit their own throats, "To save us the ammunition..." one Commissar noted, "these fascist pigs are not worth the bullet." The truest revenge came in the final days of April, 1945. Until then, Hitler had proved remarkably resistant to psychic attack, his mind incredibly strong, as if driven and reinforced by a darker and stronger intelligence. Deep within his psychicly shielded bunker, and surrounded by psychic defectors from the USSR, he remained impervious to assassination attempts by psychic agents. So Stalin's agents chose to isolate him, first and easiest to turn was Goering, as they stoked the fires of his ambition. Each of his Generals, one at a time, accepted defeat and turned on him, the seeds of Soviet victory planted in their fear fevered brains.


Eventually, paranoia, defeat, the malign influence of the darkness he sought to harness, and above all the despair of lonelyness weakened Hitler, until he too became vulnerable. The breakthrough was made by a psychic agent, known even to this day only as Agent Ivan. No concrete reports exist or have been declassified to this day of the exact events, but a Soviet defector during the following cold war spoke of Stalin psychicly being witness to Hitler's suicide, through the ministrations of Agent Ivan. With the death of Hitler, the strongest link in the chain that connected the Reich with the forces of darkness snapped, and Nazi paranormal activity dropped to near zero. Stalin ordered that great show be made to beguile the Allies into believing that the rumored Soviet Psychic Agency was indeed just rumor, and that would prevent the development of psychic counter measures like those used by the Nazis.

Unfortunately for mankind, the few Black Knights that had escaped scattered themselves to the four winds. They would only emerge again at the head of a horde of undeath, usually reaping a frightful harvest before being defeated again, and driven away. It became the personal quest of "Mad Jack" Churchill to hunt down the last of these creatures, and to the day he died he protected the world against those who would use the dark arts to further there own agendas. For the people of Russia however, their suffering was not yet ended. Leningrad became a haunted shell of a city. After the war ended, the Soviet government tried to have it repopulated, only to find that a single unimaginably powerful Dark Knight had taken up the city as his own blasted citadel. Allied Intelligence believes, but cannot conclusively prove, that this creature is in fact Heinrich Himmler. Unwilling to fight for the tormented shadow city, the Russians gathered the most potent of their Psychic Agents, and walled the city off as the Agents erected a psychic dome of energy, sealing it forever. The dome must be forever maintained by the Psychic Agency, or the horrors contained within could be unleashed on a war weary world. So it remains to this day, the Dark Knight encapsulated in his psychic prison, plotting against the world of the living, waiting for the day of his release to haunt the steps of Man again.

7.11.09

Legalities of the Fort Hood Shooting

In continuation of my attempt to resume using this blog, I thought that I'd share a bit of legal theory-crafting that I was doing earlier. In the light of the Fort Hood shooting, I began examining the legalities of the situation, particularly if the attacker, MAJ Nidal Malik Hasan, had hypothetically been a member of a foreign militant organization. I think that this is a very interesting legal question because it is a good example of where the lines are drawn insofar as international wartime law is concerned.

Here are the following questions that would have to be looked at under the Hague conventions and by extension the other international war conduct treaties. If you are unfamiliar with the event, then crawl out from under your rock and check out the fantastic New York Times article by spot news Pulitzer veteran Robert McFadden about the incident (especially its fantastically written ending):

1) Is the man (hereafter called the Agent) a soldier of an enemy army or militia? Or alternatively, does the Taliban / Al Qaeda / Sadr Militia count as an army or militia, seeing as it is a political organization that doesn't really control a country? On this note, I think the answer is probably yes, but there is some room for debate.

2) Assuming the above is true, do the laws of war apply to the Agent? This seems unlikely due to the actions of the organizations in question. Article 1 of the Hague code would indicate that they have not fulfilled the requisite conditions:

Article 1, Chapter I, Section I of the Regulations Respecting the Laws and Customs of War on Land, of the Hague Convention

The laws, rights, and duties of war apply not only to armies, but also to militia and volunteer corps fulfilling the following conditions:

To be commanded by a person responsible for his subordinates;
To have a fixed distinctive emblem recognizable at a distance;
To carry arms openly; and
To conduct their operations in accordance with the laws and customs of war.

In countries where militia or volunteer corps constitute the army, or form part of it, they are included under the denomination "army."

3) Assuming that the laws of war did apply to the Agent, would his actions be a war crime? In this case, I would say yes. He violated two clauses of Article 23 of the Hague convention, killing and wounding treacherously as well as making improper use of an enemy uniform and insignia (meaning wearing it while attacking, as opposed to using it for reconnaissance or a so-called ruse of war).

4) Separately, are the soldiers at Fort Hood legal war targets? All indications point to yes. The base is guarded, and the soldiers are not convalescing or otherwise to be considered noncombatants. The civilians in the area would be considered collateral damage so long as they were not targeted specifically. Of course, for such an attack to be considered legal under international law, it would have to be conducted legally and by a legitimate army.

5) As such, the Agent would not be protected under international wartime law, as he did not abide by that law (indeed he violated it flagrantly). He would then be tried as an unlawful combatant, and thus would be judged under the domestic laws of the United States.

So enough of the hypothetical theory-crafting, what's really going to happen to the guy? Is he going to hang or are his lawyers going to say he's crazy? Probably both. His lawyers are going to plead not guilty by reason of incompetence (PTSD most likely), and the government is going to quash that like a ripe fruit. As far as I know the guy hasn't even been overseas. They'll ask for the death penalty and they'll probably get it too (this is Texas after all). Even if they didn't need to send a message to other would-be war objectors that this sort of thing gets put down with prejudice, this many murders would land a man in the hot seat regardless of the circumstance.

I once covered a similar case with a former military man who kidnapped and later killed his wife here in Oregon. His lawyers claimed he had PTSD, but the jury sentenced him to death anyways. The defense just isn't that strong, especially because the jury sees only a sane man and not a lunatic.

My only real question is whether they are going to try him under the UCMJ in a General Court-Martial with a JAG lawyer, a military judge and a five serviceman panel, or if they are going to turn him over to the civilian authorities to be tried in a Texan district court. Personally I'd prefer the former in this case, but I'm sure the Pentagon will get a lot of pressure to put him into state hands; whomever represents the guy will have a heck of a time deciding which one would be better for his client.

6.11.09

Rogue Praetorians?


It has been quite a while since I last updated this blog, as Twitter seems to have sated most of my creative and informative writing urges. But fear not! I've recently come up with an array of stuff that I would like to share, and I'm going to be putting out some of it over the next few weeks. First a little writing, then perhaps some old photography (for real this time). Who knows where my semi-productiveness will take me?

In any case, a review: I recently came across an audiobook of Jeremy Scahill's seminal work, Blackwater: World's Most Powerful Mercenary Army, which I had heard so much about in some of the more excitedly liberal circles. If the topic (American mercenaries in Iraq acting as modern-day Praetorians that are exempt from oversight) was not enough of a hook, the cover art surely was.

Unfortunately while it was interesting listening to the book, honestly I was a little disappointed. Blackwater came across as being too much of a YouTube indictment, with the author wringing his hands over minor anecdotes rather than putting together a cohesive narrative. He seems to expect the reader to be rah-rahing him on, and without a healthy topping of righteous indignation the work rings rather hollow. But it simply is hard not to notice that his book, though extensive, is principally just conjecture and recantation of relatively well-known news stories. To top it off, Scahill's roughshod approach to military parlance and culture makes him appear rather confused and inexpert in a topic that clearly deserves a more considered hand.

While I went into the work looking forward to a stirring and fascinating take on one of the most controversial horrors of the Bush era, I came to a limpwristed finish thinking that if these were the worst examples to be found, then perhaps the usage of mercenaries in Iraq probably wasn't all that bad. Amusingly enough, this was much the conclusion of Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, though he later partially apologized for his confrontational attitude.

The most memorable example of this sort of thing was when Scahill details an action where enlisted US soldiers join Blackwater contractors in fending off thousands of advancing Iraqis armed with small arms, RPGs and mortars. In the midst of describing this hours-long firefight that ends only after American gunships show up to put down the mob, Scahill chastises Blackwater for potentially creating the conflict by firing warning shots, according to unnamed sources. After raising the issue, he then seems to dismiss it entirely in a sort of "We report, you decide" parody of Fox News. The author further expects the reader to join him in an eye-rolling reproach of a soldier who asks the Blackwater mercs (who are typically highly experienced and ex-special forces) for permission to fire in absence of a US officer or noncom.

In short, while I admire the ability of the author to pick a great topic and then to write an even better jacket cover, I was sadly discouraged by his lack of follow-through. The only thing that he convinced me of is that writing about Blackwater is a fantastic way to use the term Praetorian Guards, and otherwise I should remember to look for good journalism from experienced organizations like the Washington Post, not well-meaning Democracy Now! hacks.

As a parting shot in this unashamedly negative review, I was most amused by the opinion of Publishers Weekly on the book. Not only did it ravage Scahill for his "scare language", but it applauds audio narrator Tom Weiner's cool baritone delivery for balancing out the histrionics of the text. It would appear that this is one of the few works where the narration not only improves the content, but outshines it completely.